I fear that I've been neglecting my blog, and for that I am sorry indeed.

What have I been doing? Well, not much, to be honest. Nothing interesting anyways. I worked 42 hours at Esprit last week, and seven hours at tae kwon do. Also put four hundred dollars in the bank, bringing the total up to almost half of my goal. I now have $2200 saved up, and will hopefully be increasing that amount to five thousand over the next three months.

I have become sick of Kelly Clarkson.

She's on the radio all the time, and all she does is sing about breakups. Songs that she hasn't even written.

Her newest one, Because of You, really annoys me. In the song, she's blaming her ex boyfriend for being the reason she can't trust anyone, yadda yadda yadda.

I guess I don't like it when people, especially women, play the victim. The relationship between Kelly and the person she's singing to was consentual, but she only blames him? What about herself? People are allowed to break up with their girlfriend/boyfriend. He did nothing wrong, he only made a decision. Bastardly? Maybe. But it doesn't mean you have to "play on the safe side of the street" for the rest of your life.

I have had my heart broken as well, but I don't blame Doug as the sole reason for my having trust issues (I had them long before he came along). To not be able to trust anyone takes years and years of being hurt, not just one breakup. And even then - I know that when I can trust someone, it means that there's something special there. If anything, the whole relationship led me to question myself and my own emotions, not the people around me.

My relationship with Doug has not taught me to be wary of falling in love. Instead, I've learned what is possible. Now I know what kind of a connection to look for with another person. More importantly, the whole breakup taught me so much about myself, and even God. Looking back at everything, I would never change anything. If I had the choice of doing it over again, I would do it the exact same way.

If Kelly can't see the good that there was in her relationship (and even the breakup), then she hasn't decided to grow from it. I just wish she would stop bitching. Decide to get over it. Yes it hurts, probably worse than any other pain that a person can go through. But I made the decision to move on. You can't simply decide to make the pain go away, it doesn't work like that...but you can decide that it won't break you. You can be stronger than the situation.

And then I remember that it's just a song.