So, here I am in Toronto.

I was not looking forward to coming. I knew that, once I got here, I wouldn't be able to avoid thinking of grandma. And I was right - until I got the laptop working tonight. So now here I am in bed, listening to music and posting. Trying to find something to do. Sleep, you say? Hah.

Oh, blah. This is hard being here. Tomorrow will be hard. The day after will be hardest.

You know, I'm sick of writing about Doug, but the feeling that I am expiriencing now is the exact same that I was dealing with when Doug and I broke up. Honestly. It's the same feeling that kind of encompased all of me for months afterward. It's just pure, plain sadness. So when I sit and acknowlege how I feel, it kind of transports me back to when I was dealing with the Doug situation. And it's hard.

But you know, that kind of gives me an idea for how I should deal with the situation. Cry when I need to cry, write and talk about how I feel, and get lots of hugs.

Oh, my most illustrious grandmother. How can you be gone?