Ah, New Years. The time for reflection, nostalgia, getting drunk, and resolutions. I've never really made any resolutions because normally they only last about a week. But this year is different. I'm on the edge of a crevass and about to jump off. I don't know if I'll fly, fall, glide, float, or what.

This year I am making a resolution. I resolve to live this year differently. To search for God in all his aspects, wherever that may take me. To look for and find happiness wherever I go. To look for and see the beauty that is around me, and be thankful for that. I'm going adventuring, and I am excited to see where that will lead me.

Here's to love, life, and happiness.

I saw the Chronicles of Narnia last night. I haven't read the book in a very, very long time, which probably made it more enjoyable; I couldn't remember the little intricacies of the book that the movie undoubtedly left out or changed. So in the end I enjoyed it, very much. Although I do think that I'm developing a slight crush on Tumnus the faun.

Boxing Day was complete madness. It was insanely busy. I worked a nine hour shift, from 7 - 4:30. Got up at five in the morning, and have to do it again tomorrow. But that's retail, alas.

I did manage to find myself some $20 shoes, though. Apparently I can fit into kid's shoes. They're not that nice, but they're just what I need to walk around in and wear all the time. I need to throw my other ones out - partly because they're ripped up on the inside and covered in paint, and partly because Doug drew on them. Out with the old and in with the new.

Anyways, that's my life up until this point. I will leave you now with a picture of Mr. Tumnus. He may have a big nose and floppy ears, but that's why I love him so.

So...Christmas 2005. The one and the only.

I have to get up at five in the morning for boxing day madness at the mall. So I'm only going to post a picture of our tree that was taken last night. And please note my beautiful new luggage which will be very handy come February.

Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas.

I'm way too lazy on my days off.

This week has been the cushiest work week that I've had in a long time. I had Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off. Worked on Tuesday 1:30 - 10:00, then have Wednesday off. I work THursday, Friday, and Saturday, and then have Sunday off.

Days off are when the true me comes out. I don't want to do anything. I sleep a ridiculous ten hours or so and then get up, watch tv or read my book, and hop in the shower. Then I take a break and get back to doing my hair after I've blogged, or watched more tv, or something.

And then I'll grumble and complain about nights when I have to close and then open the next morning (like Friday - grr).

So I think I'll enjoy the cushiness of retail until boxing day comes.

Testing went ok.

Everything went well, my sparring went surprisingly well, even my two on one match. Self defense was fun, although I was exhausted at the end. But my board breaks...if I fail, it will be because of those.

I went to do my first break, and I was expecting to break it. I put all my strength into the first one (forearm strike), but I hit the side of the board. I've never done that before in my life. Normally I would have just readjusted and broken it, but I hurt my arm really, really badly. Couldn't move my fingers, couldn't make a fist. My face actually was wincing with pain. In the end I couldn't concentrate on either breaks, the pain was really bad. So after a few tries I went down to one inch (I switched to a back elbow with my left arm), and broke that. Might have cost me the testing, though.

I had to go to Emerg and get it xrayed. The doctor said that he would have bet money on my fracturing it - but when we got the xrays back, nothing showed up. So he bandaged it up, and I can't do anything substantial on it for at least two weeks. It's just a very, very bad bone bruise - I came very close to fracturing it, the doctor said.

So there you go. A good testing with a disappointing finish. Don't know if I passed, Mr. Hanger will talk to me about it later. I think that failure to break boards is an automatic fail. If that's the case, I can't re-test in January because my arm won't be better. But I may be able to simply re test on my board breaks. We'll have to see.

This is increadibly frusterating. I'm disappointed in myself, even though I shouldn't be. Mr. Hanger says I have nothing to be embarrassed about, that I did really well and inspired a lot of people. And I did do that. It's just my board breaks. If I hadn't hurt my stupid arm, I would have done them.

Sometimes I want to give up, but then I shake my head around and remember that it's just one testing, one belt. It's ok to fail, it's ok to make a mistake. How a person handles defeat is what defines their attitudes and actions in future activities.

Tae kwon do testing is tomorrow. Or today, if you prefer. And on that note...

Courtesty: a simple definition of courtesty is the golden rule as recorded in the Bible: Treat others as you would like to be treated. Treating others with politeness and respect will help them grow in self esteem and will develop in you an appreciation for others.

Loyalty: is to adhere to an ideal, custom, or person. In this case it would be loyalty to your instructor and the tenats or red tiger. Being loyal is sometimes more dificult than it may appear, however it is very rewarding in the long run.

Dicipline: the strict training of mind and character. Discipline takes self control to its highest level. It is reaching for your best effort, even when the task seems tedious or difficult. It is at this stage that a student must begin to take responsibility to be an example to others.

Indomitable Spirit: An individual with an indomitable spirit will, even with fear, stand up for what that person believes in regardless of the consequences or circumstances. A student can develop this winning attitude throughout testings, board breaks, sparring, and losing the fear of failure or defeat. How a person handles defeat is what truly defines their attitudes and actions in future activities.

Knowlege: Knowlege is necessary to advance in martial arts, however it must be understood and used appropriately to be a good leader. The gathering of knowlege is an endless task which must require a desire to continually better oneself. Knowlege is the foundation of wisdom, which is the final step towards effective leadership.

Wisdom: is the ability to reach intelligent conclusions. It implies sense and judgement far beyond the average person. To make sound decisions a student must draw from the foundations of both knowlee and understanding, which are built through expirience, training, and maturity. It is at this stage that a student must begin to understand the responsibility of their belt level.

William Penn - "I expect to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good deed I can do for any fellow being, let me do it now - as I will not pass this way again."

Proverbs 15:1 - a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Eleanor Roosevelt - "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every expirience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Martin Luther King Jr. - "Everybody can be great, because anybody can serve. It doesn't take a college degree to serve. You don't need to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grave and a soul generated by love."

Elinor Smith - "It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."

Spirella - "There's no thrill in easy sailing when the skies are clear and blue, there's no joy in merely doing things which anyone can do. But there is some satisfaction which is mighty sweet to take, when you reach a destination that you thought you'd never make."

Martin Luther King Jr. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convinience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy."

Sir Walter Scott - "One hour of life, crowded to the full with glorious action, and filled with nobel risks, is worth years of those mean observances of paltry decorum in which men steal through existence, like sluggish waters through a marsh, without either honour or observation."

Ecclesiaities 7:11 - 12: Wisdom, like an inheritence, is a good thing, and benefits those who see the sun. Wisdom is a shelter, as money is a shelter, but the advantege of knowlege is this: that wisdom preserves the life of its possesor.

Thomas Carlyle - "Of all paths a man can strike into, there is at any given moment a best path, which, here and now, it were of all things wisest for him to do. To find this path, and walk in it, is the one thing most needful for him."

Theodore Roosevelt - "If we are to be a really great people, we must strive in good faith to play a great part in the world. We cannot avoid meeting great issues. All that we can determine for ourselves is whether we shall meet them well or ill."

Hellen Keller - "I long to accomplish a great and nobel task, but right now it is my chief duty to accomplish humble ones as though they were great and noble. THe world is moved along not only by the mightly shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker."

"Viktor E. Frankl - "We who lived in the concentration camps remember the men who walked throughout the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. Though they were few in number they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing - the last of his freedoms: to choose ones own attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose ones own way."

Proverbs 17: 27 - 28: A man of knowlege uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tounge.

White belt form: 24 moves, 2 kihaps on moves 5 and 23 - both on #2 round kicks.

Green belt form: 34 moves, 2 kihaps on moves 7 and 24 - both palmheels

Blue belt form (light blue): 42 moves, 3 kihaps on moves 5, 21, and 33 - ridgehand, palmheel, ridgehand

brown belt form (dark blue): 42 moves, 3 kihaps on moves 10, 19, and 38 - #3 jump round, #2 axe, #2 jump round

red belt: - 48 moves, 3 kihaps on moves 8, 23, and 37 - spearhand, horizontal palmheel, and spearhand

high red belt: 48 moves, kihaps on moves 7, 20, and 39 - spin backfist, twin inner palmheel, spin backfist

total number of moves: 238.

I'm impressed if you read all that.

Looking over this blog, I've come to decide that I like it. I've only had it since August (I think), but I enjoy it. It's not piratey, but all things in due time.

I suppose I'll be making up a travel blog for England, and giving out that address to people that want to keep up with me (yes, apprently there are a few). I'm tempted to title it Eurotrip, but then people will start to think that I actually support a movie like that.

A month and a half to go. A day till my testing. My life is so full of anxiety it's ridiculous.

But my contacts are drying out, and my eyes are bugging me.

We were going to decorate the Christmas tree tonight, but it didn't end up happening. Which is sad, because I was looking forward to sitting in the room looking at it with the lights off. I don't know if any of you have done that before, but if you haven't you should give it a try. It's relaxing, and a pleasant atmosphere. That is, if you have a nicely decorated tree. Maybe we'll do it tomorrow.

I'm also going to say now that I'm not going to be posting much on the political stuff that's going on here. It's too much drama, and too much media. If you want to know something you can ask, but I'm not going to be posting it here. I'm a little sick of it all, to be honest.

So that's enough for one night. Bed awaits.

Life = busy

Friday is black belt testing. Will post pictures and, hopefuly, good news.

But as of now, I must sleep.

And I feel that I must break the string of one line posts. So I'll say my lesson for today. Two cups of coffee at dinner and a late night hot chocolate is way too much caffine/sugar for me to consume at night. That is, if I'm planning on sleeping. Which is the ideal state at one in the morning - however, not all ideals are achieved in cases such as this.

That's just a lot of words to say that I can't sleep, and won't be for a few hours.

Sometimes I wish I never dated Doug.

I think I'm about ready to give up.

I think I'm overdue for a political post, seeing as how the government has crumbled and the Libs are dropping in opinion poles (Martin has resorted to saying that they'll finally cut taxes in order to gain votes - most Canadians aren't buying it, and polls show he's actually dropping in popularity). But today is not the day for politics, because it's snowing!

It's snowing big, fat snow flakes. I'm hoping it won't stick; I need to drive to New Westminister tomorrow for training. This weather is extremely unusual, especially for this time of year. And our house is always freezing, even when wearing three to four layers.

I would take a picture but both cameras are dead at the moment.

I was looking through the Richmond Review, and on the last page there was a very large picture of our family. It took up almost the entire page. The picture is also on the back of dad's business cards. Plus it hangs in our hallway. I tell you, by the end of it all I am going to be horribly sick of our happy, laughing family.

Oh yes, and according to the man at the Vietnamese food place I look like Neve Campbell. So here's a picture for you all.